inertia

I stand at the corner and watch the lights change. red to green. I was supposed to cross, I could remember that. but why? Was i going somewhere? where? how? i was walking. i must have been walking, since i'm standing, at a corner, watching the lights change. from red to green. words like eternity and forever sound stupid in my head, even stupider out loud. i wonder why. and how? i think about silence, and how i dont believe in it anymore. no such thing. no such thing. no such thing. this urban nightmare is home and any alternative a perpetual shade of grey. while i stand on this corner in a perpetual struggle between red and green. stop and go. go. go. that's why i'm here. to go. how can you go if you never stop? that's why there are two colours. two shapes. the hand on a post, she tells me to stop. the walking man, he tells me to go. but i dont believe them. it's too simple, too obvious. i see them every day, lying to me. telling me i'll be safe if i just listen to them and do what they say. stop and go, red and green. sometimes yellow. telling me to slow down. red. green. yellow. like an ugly bruise covered with cheap facepaint. greasy, smiling, filth. standing on a corner. waiting for the change. from red to green. waiting for something to happen. waiting for a push, a shove, anything. monotony sounds stupid out loud. even stupider in my head. from red to green. sometimes yellow. always yellow. a perpetual state of slowing down.