Edge of doubt

edge of doubt

You who never waver, you who never fall
I'm brought to my knees til they bleed and they rot.
Tend to my wounds like a priest with his flock.
You who never stumble, never rock. i falter with every step when i walk.
Every glance, gesture, a romance of inelegant destruction.
There is a beauty, so pungent i often feel myself pushed roughly against it.
I want to taste it and feel it melting down my thighs and my breasts.
But it will cloy and stick and stink if it is impure.
It is only in abysmal fantasy that i can do what is just
and i just want to peel off my sweaty flesh and begin again.
From fetus to fornication i am steeped in sin.
A strange kindness settles as the hairs on your back are no longer raised.
evening descends and your fingers trace lines with my imagination.
we are all a gallery of shame.
our hearts at war with infinite laws
and every triumph is a tragedy of a thousand eyes swimming upstream.
warm your hands by the fire
a soul burns out every moment
the heat dwindles and flickers making monsters with the light.
new life
new hope
never enough to melt the shadow that penetrates me with vigorous thrusts.
a new life i'm tempted to leave in the dust. but i can only do what i must.